Your Blood Never Lies (Even From Afar)

The sheepish Balinese clerk at a local medical clinic tries hard to make sense of my unusual request. I don’t want a test, nor do I want to see a doctor. I want her to prick my finger, then squeeze drops of my blood onto a sterilized white cloth (that I’ve brought along). That’s it. Her confusion is palpable.

A few questions later, she obliges me and asks me to produce my hand and the cloth. Six pin pricks and bright red droppings on a cloth later, she presses a cotton ball firmly on my finger and sends me off.

Days later, I deliver a plastic bag with that blood-soaked cloth, to my friend, C, who is flying to Europe in a few days. Among the clothes and gifts that C packs into her check-in luggage, is my blood.

My airborne red-and-white cells will be handed over to a woman (K, who is well-known to C) who will analyze my blood, and give me the lowdown about my health. Much as she’s done with C.

A few weeks later, C returns with K’s four-page, hand-written report (transcribed in German, so C provides translation).

Unsurprisingly, I learn that parasites and mold have taken root in my body. I live in Bali, and the moisture during rainy season infiltrates home and body alike. K notes that I’m loaded with salmonella and staph, rheumatism in the joints, allergies, chronic sadness (ahh, interesting finding.. in my blood), chemical pollutants, and metals – especially high Hg.. mercury.

As sobering as the news is, I’m not so surprised: the food we eat and environments the world over are pulsating with toxicity of every kind. Bet you’ve got some yourself.

Aside from the heavy mercury load, located in many of my organs, K specifically notes a problem with my sacrum and pelvis. This, without knowing anything about my accident and fractured sacrum.

A list of foods is next, some allowed, others verboten: Yes to eggs, chicken and red meat. Fish? Only salmon and cod – no tuna permitted. Cow’s milk is out, but sheep’s milk is ok – if only I could find some on this island. I get the thumbs up on an assortment of curious foods: spelt, corn, cane sugar (?!) and lots of algae/seaweed; while the no-no list is an extensive one: beer, soy, barley, carrot, hazelnut and walnuts, mandarins, strawberries, oats, wheat, rye, etc. I’m reassured that this selective list will be revisited once my body is clean.

Which of course raises the question: How do I rid my body – and blood cells – of mercury and other chemical irritants? Well, with a detox of course. Sure I’m in Bali and every second person is here for the Ubudian version of detox (fasting, colonics, juicing, healers, yoga, etc). But this is of a different kind: Two ingredients are called for: chlorella and fenugreek. Neither of which are readily available in Ubud – or, if so, then prohibitively so. Fortunately, my friend D offers to pick up supplements of each before his return from the US.

I’ve eliminated a few foods, added in a few others. I’m taking daily doses of diatomaceous earth, Vitamin D3, B12, probiotics and a few other goodies. I’ve stopped buying carrots and the nuts that have apparently been wreaking havoc on my system. But mea culpa: I confess to have taken a few, but apparently perceptible, ummm, liberties or diversions off the detox-path.

Here’s the curious rub: In an email last week, C says that K wants to know if I’ve been following her suggested changes to my diet. Hidden in that question is of course, the inference that I’ve been cheating. Gotcha! I suddenly recall the nature of K’s blood work, a process that requires a good deal of faith and suspension of allopathically-based belief: With a range of techniques and instruments, she can detect the most minute changes to my blood and body’s homeostasis, remotely, without touching my body, taking my temperature, seeing my face or taking another drop of blood. And, from what I’ve learned through C’s own experience, it’s bloody right.

Which means that, to avoid being found out – and, quite possibly, reprimanded! –  I’ll have to forego that slice of cake and bowl of strawberries at a friend’s New Year’s Eve party…

May you all be blessed with an abundance of good & steady health, contentment, serenity, beauty and creativity in the coming year!