Purnama Prayer

I feel all choked up, like the walking wounded.

It happened so quickly and suddenly last evening, that I’ve not yet had time to process it.

A man I trusted, with my spirit and body, let me down, disappointed me, turned on me.

I’m angry and hurt. Feeling shaken up. Not yet knowing where to go, what to do next.

Not a single person living in Ubud right now knows.

I called OJ last night in tears.

B came by (we made plans the day before) so we went out for dinner; she asked why the sad face but I couldn’t share with her.

I teared up again this morning in yoga. I couldn’t share with my teacher either.

I feel alone in this sadness, this wilting, this feeling of emptiness and tears that like a leaky faucet, drip without end.

Full moon (purnama) tonight. May you shine down on me & show me the way…

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2 Comments

  1. I’m commenting mainly to express the fact that you are being heard and I feel for you. I hope you are ok. These experiences can really shake us up, especially when we’re on the road, when our defences are down. I hope this experience won’t erode your faith or close your heart. Remember you are exactly where you need to be, right now, no exceptions, and where your soul/spirit brought you to experience what you needed, to learn, unlearn etc.. It probably won’t make much sense now, but it will, and with that knowledge, that certainty, there is a basis for gratitude in the present.

    1. Dear James,
      Thanks very much for your caring and supportive comments.
      I will be ok because when the sun shines through my window every morning, I am reminded of gratitude for all; my inner strength, the beauty of life, that every day brings new gifts and that I just have to breathe and move through it. I can’t tell you how much doing yoga yesterday and today helped me… even through tears and sadness. I try also to remember that people come into our lives for reasons that we cannot always fathom at the time, and then – sometimes quite suddenly and sadly – they also leave…

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