My Health: From Standard to The Sublime

Strange but true: I just came home from the pharmacy, where I went looking for denture cleanser. Given my overall excellent dental health, and the need for dentures nowhere (hopefully never!) on the horizon, it begs the question: what the heck for?

Well, let me take you back to the beginning of this day, which saw me flitting between offices, clinics and studios around the city; beginning the day by reluctantly subjecting myself to a typical medical test (read: radiation), and ending it with a good dose of holistic health. A top to bottom total body health day.

It started, conventionally enough, with a bone density exam. Since osteoporosis figures too prominently in my genetic makeup, I was long overdue for a repeat test. Problem is, when I found myself face to face with the machine I suddenly realized that I’d forgotten to ask whether I’d have to lie down. Turns out I did; turns out also that I’d left my pills at home and it turns out (bless my amnesiac brain) that technicians are not always inclined towards practicing patience with their patients. It wasn’t the lying on my side that triggered the tears, rather the long wait lying on my backside, waiting for the mini-MRI-like machine to complete its voyage up and down my body, scanning slices of my femur and hips.  I tell you, I didn’t feel any healthier when I left that clinic.

Then, I headed downtown to my dentist. For two reasons: The first was to try and zero in on the nano-sized spot of nerve pain in my renewed-filling tooth – no luck, despite picking and prodding, and me sticking the tip of my nail as closely to ground zero as I possibly could. The second was to pick up my newfangled adult-style retainer, more modernly referred to as Invisiline. True to its word, the Invisiline is every bit as invisible to the eye of a passerby as possible. Imagine a vacuum-packed, thermoformed mold of the tops and bottoms of your teeth. How Mel would kvell (Mel = my childhood dentist, long retired). But try shoving those two nearly-transparent magically stabilizing fixtures onto your teeth and see what a jarring experience it is! In one fell swoop, I was transported back to grade 7, my braces tightening their grip in my mouth. Please don’t use your regular toothpaste to clean the retainer, use a denture cleanser instead… whaaatt?!!

Luckily, I had a midday break, followed by a one-hour workout at the gym, which preceded my 90 minute yoga class. It was a jungle in there today, throngs of new people, occupying every piece of real estate in that studio. Somehow, despite the crowd, our instructor managed to breathe and guide us through our paces. With a bevy of props at the ready – bolsters, straps, blocks, chairs and mats – we, his students, twisted and writhed, stretched and leaned, crouched and pushed into the wall. Obedience school for the holistically-minded. What a concept.

And finally, an evening appointment with S. It was a doozer. Yes, she made me sit again, her hands under my tush, feeling around the pelvic floor. She was on an adventure ALL OVER my body: From my kidneys to the crown of my head, from my pubic bones to under my ribs, and from poking around inside my mouth to sticking her fingers in both ears. You’d think I’d been pulled out of line at airport security for a Grade A body search.

Clearly, indisputably, today was the mother of all bodywork days. A real fixer-upper. Inside and out. From head to toe. Imaging techniques, breathing techniques, hands-on techniques. Goes to show you: each of the little bits have a part (or two) to play in my symphony of healing.

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